ifs, ands, and buts

This could be my little
book about love
if I wrote it--

Yeah, I guess so. The writing seems to require a sort of living that I'm as yet unwilling to succumb to, though. Emotional availability, what? Unconvincing, my friend. Unconvincing. And then she says, "You don't want to," and I scoff, secretly lining my cilia in tangled knots to tie in the volcanic infection that pants for release. Maybe she's right, whatever that means. But what does that matter? Lots of dark and twisties do it anyway. They shatter repeatedly, silently, and it doesn't make much of a difference in the grand scheme, other than to up the contrast and saturation of beauty and joy...so fuck. Sliver away, m'dear. Sliver away.

I heard of a man
who says words so beautifully
that if he only speaks their name
women give themselves to him.

If I am dumb beside your body
while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips.
it is because I hear a man climb stairs and clear his throat outside the door.

we all scream for ice cream!

Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it's best to just walk that shit off. Find someone else to be excited about. It's like if you love ice cream but your ice cream man friend won't give you any. Maybe he's got a good reason. It cuts into profits. Who knows? But he likes you as a friend and wants to hang out anyway. It just drives you crazy to hang out with that dude, even if he's being reasonable from his point of view. So don't hang out with him. What, you ONLY like ice cream? It's ice cream or nothing? Don't be an asshole. Learn to love donuts. [Joey Comeau]

Alright, fine. But what if I want a cookie, instead?

variations on a theme

so, she wondered, what if the figure were complete? would this be the final link to eternity, the connection that turned the body's series of panarchical infinity symbols into a sort of code, an easter-egg key, to forever? should it be the same material? the same date?

how best to approach exposing the body as vessel?